![]() Just as a workplace that has several floors and only stairs to access them is not suitable for someone in a wheelchair. I hate to point out but that environment just isn’t suitable for PDAers, at all. It seems to be expected in many workplaces that employees do what they are told, when they are told, without question. What does ‘coping with demands’ mean to you? ![]() If we focus too much on the future we may miss out on opportunities to help our kids in the present, help which might actually support us as adults in the future. Hopefully there will be even more in another 10 years time, and by focusing on how we can help families now we can help more in the future. People know far more about PDA now than they did 10 years ago, there is more support, advice and information than before. It makes more sense to support them in the present and deal with the future as it happens. Whether our kids will find a job that is perfect for them, meaning we worried needlessly, or whether they struggle over and over to cope in any job, or whether they cannot get any job or even make it to adulthood. While it’s helpful to be aware of some issues our kids need to prepare for the future, we simply cannot fully know what that future will be. In 10 years it may be different again, it may be harder to change jobs or it may be loads easier, we don’t know. Being able to cope with demands hasn’t helped me as an adult, using PDA strategies and having a low demand environment however has significantly improved my mental health.ġ0 years ago, if someone was struggling in the workplace I would have recommend changing jobs, nowadays that is not as easy an option, given the current unsteady climate. I managed to get through school, I managed to get through college/uni, but I have never been able to hold down a job (certainly not a full time job) for longer than a few months. I also became an adult who was severely depressed and suicidal. I am someone who grew up in anything but a supportive, low demand environment. A child who was never fully given the environment they needed as a child will have more mental health issues than one who was fully accommodated for. ![]() However, the difference between those individuals will be in their mental health. School and workplace don’t compare, they are different environments with different demands). It’s important to remember that PDA is a disability, this means there are some who will never be able to work regardless of whether they learnt to cope with demand as a child or not (and learning to cope with the demands of childhood is very different to learning to cope with the demands of adulthood. Indeed, even if they struggle the same with demand avoidance at least their mental health will be in a far better place. While there isn’t any solid evidence yet on this I imagine PDAers who were brought up in a low demand environment are better prepared mentally to cope with adulthood. People often fare better in adulthood if they have been supported and accommodated as children. Afterall, a stressed child cannot learn as well as a child that feels supported, understood and calm. We need to help our kids cope with things now, and worry about the future once they are in a position to be able to learn things for the future. It’s a bit like refusing to feed someone when they are hungry because you think they might not be able to find a toilet to use in the future. But if we don’t go all out to help our kids when they need support now then we are not really helping our child at all, in the present nor in the future. Many parents worry that their child won’t cope with demands as adults if they’ve never learnt to cope with demands as a child. Undermining their needs in order to try to cater for some indeterminate future only makes it harder to help them in the present. While it’s hard not to worry (especially since preparing our kids for the future is part of our roles as parents) it’s important when it comes to meeting our kid’s needs in the present that we only focus on the present. What they need now is what they need NOW, none of us know whether they’ll need these same things in the future. One of the most common worries for the future is around supporting the child in the present – ‘If I reduce demands, how will they cope as an adult if they’ve never learnt to comply with demands now?’ It’s normal to worry, all parents do, parents of PDAers often have extra worries on top, worries about how they’ll fit in, whether they’ll have friends, whether they’ll be able to cope with the demands of the workplace, ect. Will they get a job? Will they have their own place? Will they be happy? Will they be stuck living with us forever? As parents we worry about our kid’s futures, how they will manage as adults.
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
AuthorWrite something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview. ArchivesCategories |